tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35444256145944980172024-03-17T21:04:04.884-06:00Hilary CobbBlessed By His LoveHilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-37879840816222048912019-11-13T10:56:00.000-07:002019-11-13T21:53:18.371-07:00The High Cost of Stigma: Why Helping Professionals Don’t Seek HelpThis September, Americans were hit with disturbing news. Two
well-known helping professionals - Gregory Ells, the director of counseling and psychological services at Penn State and Jarrid Wilson, a pastor at Harvest church - each committed suicide, leaving their families and our country grieved and confused and asking why.
How
did these men who were committed to helping others, who had the Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-6250412421438543422019-06-15T10:47:00.000-06:002019-06-15T10:47:00.328-06:00Wrestling with Proverbs 31: The Trusthworthy Wife
Proverbs 31. The one passage that both inspires and overwhelms us simultaneously. The passage that drives us but can make us feel insecure and ineffective as a woman of God.
This passage and I have a conflicted history.
Ten years ago, I joined a mom’s Bible study. I was trying to parent one (very difficult) six-month old, we had just purchased a small house in a new town and I was drowning. I Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-83517247947410706262019-05-06T09:19:00.002-06:002019-05-06T09:46:27.905-06:00The Danger of 180-degree/Reactive ParentingAs a counselor, I've worked with thousands of individuals and couples struggling with parenting. It is amazing how at the beginning of parenthood,
everything seems exciting. Babies are sweet, smell wonderful and love cuddling. But
as they grow, we realize that parenting is hard.
When your sweet adorable infant becomes a terror at age three or your
preteen screams, “I hate you,” emotion overwhelmsHilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-35680935936897053542019-04-13T11:15:00.001-06:002019-04-14T17:27:50.985-06:00How to Keep Anxiety and Control from Eroding Your Faith
Control. The dreaded C
word. As Christians, intellectually we know control as a response to doubt and
fear can be problematic. We’ve all witnessed situations where someone’s need
for control destroys friendships, a marriage, or a parent-child
relationship.
As someone who struggles
with this myself, I am not judging others. I understand how that need for
everything to be done just. the. Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-84612973140693351202019-03-14T20:00:00.000-06:002019-03-14T20:00:03.011-06:00Finding Comfort in God's Promises
We were driving last week and two songs in a row mentioned
God’s promises. My 10-year-old piped up from the back, “Why are there so many
songs about promises?” Caught off-guard, I mumbled a sentence about God’s
promises being comforting as you get older and we kept driving. I realized
later how shallow my response was and how little it captured the impact God’s
promises have had on my life. Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-54306447813341492392019-03-09T11:07:00.000-07:002019-03-09T14:04:30.503-07:00Disconnected: What Jesus (and Luke Perry) Teaches Us about Relationships
Like many people, I was shocked and saddened by Luke Perry’s
death this week. When celebrities (or anybody!) dies, we are reminded we are
not immortal. Our bodies are frail. Money doesn’t guarantee you long life. His
death from a stroke reminded me to not take my dad’s survival from a massive
stroke several years ago for granted.
Saddened by his death, I was reading an article today about Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-59626950779754126952019-02-09T23:08:00.001-07:002019-06-13T20:25:14.958-06:00Six Early Signs of Abuse in Relationships
Domestic violence is a
complex issue. Few survivors of domestic violence realize how abusive their
partners will become, since at the beginning of the relationship, many abusers can be very charming.
However, many abusers will slowly increase control over a period of months or years, so
by the time things become physically abusive, it is difficult for their partner to
leave.
Unfortunately, Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-28644086246220521652019-02-06T13:09:00.000-07:002019-02-06T13:41:29.203-07:00Marriage Secrets (from Two Happily Married Social Workers)
I was sharing with a friend about the marriage workbook my
husband and I are writing, and she asked me, “As social workers, do you ever
have dark times?” It gave me pause. We often share healthy ways to improve your
marriage with others, but what tools do we actually use the most?
Because let’s be honest; we have to use tools to keep our marriage strong. We have both been social workers forHilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-46699644031139968122018-12-31T17:56:00.001-07:002018-12-31T18:32:11.577-07:00The One Goal You Won't Set This Year...But Should.
Every January, we plot and plan the upcoming year. We set
goals in different areas of our lives, lose a few pounds, strive for a promotion,
train for a race, spend more time in God’s word.
All of these are important, but how often do we set a goal for our marriage?
A few weeks ago, I was out for lunch with a friend and shared my excitement about New Year’s Eve, since my husband and I Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-5676729704614847862018-12-19T09:25:00.004-07:002018-12-19T11:25:28.824-07:00Wandering through a Desert Place: Lessons from Joshua 1
As 2018 wraps up, I have to confess
something. This has been a desert year for me. Sure, my social media is full of
pictures of fun things I did and places I went, but behind the scenes,
confusion about my purpose and God’s will for my life has consumed me.
For the sake of authenticity, I will
bare all because I think some of you can relate.
I started out 2018 with big plans.
Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-84386413698446890212018-10-22T14:00:00.001-06:002018-12-15T21:30:20.627-07:00Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): How to Beat the “Winter Blues"
Fall is a beautiful time of year. You can enjoy comfortable (and flattering!) leggings, fall leaves and pumpkin-flavored everything. However, for many Americans, the cool weather and shorter days means something different. They find themselves feeling down, lethargic, or sleeping way too much. They feel apathetic about work or hopeless about life.
Seasonal affective disorder (or SAD) is a Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-76119553464485554882018-10-08T17:07:00.000-06:002018-12-15T21:30:31.918-07:00Reducing Resentment: Learning to Say No
Over the years, regardless of the setting I’ve worked in as a therapist, one of the number one issues people want help with is learning how to say no and mean it. How do you protect your time and priorities in a kind way? How do we say no, but still stay “nice” or look like a team player?
There is an art to assertively saying no to those around us. Here are three simple steps I’ve Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-80137622226788851372018-09-26T10:44:00.000-06:002018-12-15T21:32:42.864-07:00The One Discussion Parents Need to Have with Their Children…but aren’t.
As stories and accusations of sexual harassment and assault by film directors, movie stars, gymnastic coaches and politicians have surfaced in the past few months, I have been more shocked by the public’s surprised reaction than the actual allegations. As a social worker, I am deeply aware that at least 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually abused at some point in their lives and that Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-34572746150475060032018-09-20T10:47:00.002-06:002018-12-19T09:29:47.704-07:00Finding Rest: How to Combat Emotional Exhaustion
In 1974, a man named Herbert Freudenberger published a journal article about "occupational burnout." Initially focused on burnout in the workplace, it has since spawned a body of research spanning 40 years examining why some people succeed in stressful job situations and others "burn out" quickly. Why some people can cope with difficulties and others fall apart.
Whether it's Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-91641498134680370512018-06-08T08:39:00.001-06:002018-12-15T21:31:40.493-07:00The Insidious Root of Bitterness & Anger
This morning I stumbled across a quote from A.W. Tozier (a famous theologian). It said: "We cannot pray in love and live in hate and still think we are worshipping God."
I believe that many Christians would read this and say, “But I’m not living in hate, I’m doing pretty well.” And from outward appearances, they are. They are nice to people at the grocery store, they buy their children’s Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-49154804870807078462018-05-26T20:44:00.002-06:002018-12-19T09:30:12.918-07:00Finding Hope in Suffering: Psalm 126:5-6
I recently taught a high school psychology class, and towards the end of the semester, we started a unit on the psychology of emotions. The students were surprised there are psychologists who spend their entire careers focusing on emotions – what they are, how they impact our behaviors and thoughts, and why we have them. I asked the students if they knew why we had emotions, and one kid in the Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-19780460292320739602018-03-22T17:18:00.002-06:002018-03-22T17:22:15.822-06:00Living Well: Adopting an Eternal Perspective
Two weeks ago, our garage ceiling started leaking. Apparently, our shower has cracked and is leaking water into the ceiling. I didn’t realize our deductible was high, so the first round of bills we received was overwhelming. While I was budgeting (since these bills don’t even include the cost of repairing the shower), trying to keep my anxiety at bay, my phone rang.
It was our neighbor Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-64116994874455895232018-03-02T10:24:00.001-07:002018-12-19T09:30:53.842-07:00Social Work: The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful
As we come into March, national Social Work Month, I've been reflecting on my ten years of social work experience. At times, social work seems simple, at times it seems unbearably hard, but it is exactly where God has led me to be.
So here are my thoughts about what social work really is:
Social work is too many clients and not enough time. It is endless paperwork, fighting with insuranceHilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-91252223768042508082018-02-15T09:25:00.002-07:002018-12-15T21:31:26.173-07:00Embracing the Lost and Disconnected Child
As a country still trying to wrap its head around the tragic loss of life in Florida, I’ve seen many people debating the whys. Why have there been so many school shootings? Why are so many young people willing to kill others? Why did the shooter have access to a gun? We are a country of confusion. Is this a gun control issue? Is it a school safety issue? Is it a community issue or a national Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-57907634446757448002018-01-05T13:16:00.000-07:002018-01-05T18:03:31.811-07:00Three Practical Ways to Grow Your Child's Love for Jesus
Today, author and speaker Brad Klassen is sharing his knowledge about parenting and practical tips to help build your children's love for Jesus! If you want more, don't forget to subscribe to his mailing list to receive a PDF of 17 Practical Ways to Grow Your Child's Love for Jesus. Enjoy! ~ Hilary
As a parent, if you are like me, you have a desire and a heart to see your children Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-59037768397301438732018-01-01T13:45:00.001-07:002018-12-15T21:30:57.484-07:00Improving Intimacy: The one element every couple needs
Problems with physical intimacy are rarely something that bring couples to see me for marriage counseling, yet it often comes up within the first one or two sessions. The difficulty with eroding intimacy is that it is a complicated blend of physical and emotional connection and for many couples in crisis, they don’t even know where to start to fix the problem.
Over the course of a marriage, Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-61786230044108611802017-12-12T10:13:00.000-07:002017-12-12T11:10:44.607-07:00Pursuing God: Reflections After a Car Accident
Seven weeks and one day ago, I was in a serious car accident. God was good and protected me, but it was such an eye-opening experience. Being laid up for weeks and stripped of all the things that give me identity (my job, running, crafting, writing, parenting), I was forced to truly examine myself.
And it wasn’t pretty. I realized that my justifications for avoiding an intimate Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com145tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-12755427754780925352017-09-03T17:07:00.002-06:002017-09-03T21:39:52.947-06:00The Five Skills Needed for a Healthy Marriage
After years of working as a counselor, I’ve seen couples in all stages, and I am always intrigued by what makes a marriage work. How do couples overcome messy childhoods, unhealthy habits, and constant conflict to have a strong, healthy marriage? What skills or characteristics do we need as spouses to work towards the marriage that God designed for us? There are many important elements, but Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-91165764092002874062017-05-05T10:00:00.000-06:002017-05-05T16:05:12.410-06:00{#gracewins series}: Three Lessons Learned from the Thorny Places of ADDLast week, I shared that I am starting a series titled #gracewins where people share their stories of redemption from mental health and/or addiction and how God's grace helps us be victorious over our struggles. Week one was a beautiful post from Kristen at Beautiful Southern Heart who found victory over addiction.
This week is a guest post from my beautiful and brave friend Lindsey from Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3544425614594498017.post-83121038843097362762017-04-28T14:49:00.001-06:002017-04-28T14:49:46.177-06:00{#gracewins series}: Sobriety WinsAs I was driving home from the gym today, I heard Matthew West's song, "Grace Wins." It never fails to move me. I think so many of us can relate to the lyrics:
There's a war between guilt and grace
And they're fighting for a sacred space
But I'm living proof
Grace wins every time
No more lying down in death's defeat
Now I'm rising up in victory
Singing, Hilary Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12118914914229080053noreply@blogger.com2